The chapter that was the most difficult for me to put out in the world, not specifically to write, was a chapter called “Am I Forgiving” because it deals with my father and our upbringing and him being in an abusive home and the pain he went through and how it affected us. What questions, or chapters, were the most difficult for you to write?
Maria bello series#
The book is a series of chapters focused on questioning the labels. She said, “Welcome to the club.” I said, “I don’t want to be in your club.” The club I want to belong to is the people that come from their heart and are fighting for people they love and standing by people they love. Has it?Ī woman came up to me at an event - and she’s a producer in Hollywood, a well-known lesbian - and she was always a little bit rude to me. You wrote in your New York Times piece that you wondered how coming out would affect your career. I just don’t define myself by who I have sex with.
In my story, traditional labels don’t seem to fit anymore for most people they are limiting the possibility for me to become who I am meant to be. But that was not the point to the story and not the point of my journey. It was disheartening, but I sort of expected that because that is the easy answer. In your book, you write that a lot of media outlets got it wrong when your essay was published, writing that you came out as a lesbian. I always say whether you are conservative or liberal, black, white, man, woman, whatever - sexuality is very complicated, and let’s just stop pointing fingers and start asking questions instead. I mean the very definition of desire is to want something you don’t have for many people in longtime committed relationships it’s very difficult to desire the same person. There are different ways to have relationships and maybe it’s time to start being really honest about that.
One woman said the other day that she’s been married for 26 years, but she hasn’t had sex with her husband in 6 years - but they are the best of friends and great companions and she thinks he may have had an affair, but it doesn’t really matter to her. So many people have come to me and shared stories. Do you believe sexuality is fluid?Ībsolutely.
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